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Disclaimer
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Void where prohibited - Keep away from fire or flames
- Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead,
is unintentional and purely coincidental - Some assembly
required - List each check separately by bank number
- Batteries not included - Contents may settle during
shipment - Do not discharge in an enclosed space - Use
only as directed - No other warranty expressed or implied
- Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or
heavy equipment - Postage will be paid by addressee -
Subject to COS approval - This is not an offer to sell securities
- Apply only to affected area - May be too intense for some
viewers - Do not stamp - Use other side for additional
listings - For recreational use only - Do not disturb
- As seen on TV - First pull up, then pull down - Call
toll free before digging - Driver does not carry cash
- This document has been plagiarized from sources on the
world wide web - Some of the trademarks mentioned in this
product appear for identification purposes only - Record
additional transactions on back of previous stub - UNIX
is a registered trademark of AT&T - This product is
meant for educational purposes only - Any resemblance to
real persons, living or dead is purely coincidential -
One size fits all - Many suitcases look alike - Contains
a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients - Colors
may, in time, fade - We have sent the forms which seem right
for you - Slippery when wet - For office use only
- Not affiliated with the Red Cross - Drop in any mailbox
- Edited for television - Keep cool - Process promptly
- Post office will not deliver without postage -
List was current at time of printing - Return to sender, no forwarding
order on file, unable to forward - Not responsible for
direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages
resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform
- At participating locations only - Not the Beatles -
Penalty for private use - See label for sequence - Substantial
penalty for early withdrawal - Do not write below this
line - Falling rock - Lost ticket pays maximum rate -
Your canceled check is your receipt - Add toner - Place
stamp here - Avoid contact with skin - Sanitized for your
protection - Be sure each item is properly endorsed
- Sign here without admitting guilt - Slightly higher west of the
Mississippi - The Author has placed this document in the public
domain - Employees and their families are not eligible
- Beware of dog - Contestants have been briefed on some
questions before the show - Limited time offer, call now
to ensure prompt delivery - You must be present to win
- No passes accepted for this engagement - No purchase
necessary - Processed at location stamped in code at top
of carton - Shading within a garment may occur - Use only
in a well-ventilated area - Replace with same type - Approved
for veterans - Booths for two or more - Check here if tax
deductible - All models over 18 years of age - If condition
persists, consult your physician - No user-serviceable
parts inside - Freshest if eaten before date on carton
- Subject to change without notice - Times approximate
- Simulated picture - No postage necessary - Side effects may include
headache, nausea, vomiting and decreased sexual desire.
- Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement
- For off-road use only - Some equipment shown is optional
- Price does not include taxes - No Foreign coins
- Not recommended for children - Prerecorded for this time
zone - I killed Paul and shot J.R. - Reproduction strictly
prohibited - No solicitors - No alcohol, dogs or horses
- No anchovies unless otherwise specified - Restaurant
package, not for resale - List at least two alternate dates
- Do not fold, staple, spindle or mutilate - No transfers
issued until the bus comes to a complete stop - Package
sold by weight, not volume - Your mileage may vary - This
article does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either
myself, my company, my friends, or my cat - Don't quote
me on that - Don't quote me on anything - All rights reserved
- You may distribute this article freely but you may not
make a profit from it - Terms are subject to change without
notice - Illustrations are slightly enlarged to show detail
- Do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law
- Hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat - Do not bend, fold, mutilate,
or spindle - Allow four to six weeks for delivery
- Disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning,
flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake,
hurricanes and other Acts of God, neglect, damage from
improper reading, incorrect line voltage, improper or
unauthorized reading, broken antenna or marred cabinet,
missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic
radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations,
customer adjustments that are not covered in this list,
and incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship sinking
or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping
the item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass,
mud slides, forest fire, or projectile (which can include,
but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB's, shrapnel,
lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha,
Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.) - Please consult
your physician if unforeseen side effects develop - Non-fatal
if swallowed - No substitutions allowed - For a limited
time only - This article is void where prohibited, taxed,
or otherwise restricted - Use of this article in a manner
not in conformance with labeling may be a violation of Federal, State,
or Local Laws, Statutes, or Regulations and may or may
not subject the user to maximum enforcement under these
laws, statutes, or regulations - Caveat emptor -
Article is provided "as is"; without any warranties
- Reader assumes full responsibility - An equal opportunity article
- No shirt, no shoes, no service - Quantities are limited
while supplies last - If any defects are discovered, return
to an authorized service center - Read at your own risk
- Parental advisory -- explicit lyrics -- text may contain
explicit materials some readers may find objectionable,
parental guidance is advised - Keep away from sunlight
- Keep away from pets and small children - Limit one-per-family please
- No money down - No purchase necessary - You need not be
present to win - Some assembly required - Batteries not
included - Instructions are included - Action figures
sold separately - No preservatives added - Slippery when
wet - Safety goggles may be required during use - Pepsi
is a registered trademark of Coca-Cola Limited - Sealed
for your protection, do not read if safety seal is broken
- You look ugly and your mother dresses you funny - Not
liable for damages arising from use or misuse - Use only
as directed - For external use only - If rash, irritation,
redness, or swelling develops, discontinue reading - Read
only with proper ventilation - Avoid extreme temperatures
and store in a cool dry place - Keep away from open flames
- Avoid contact with eyes and skin and avoid inhaling fumes
- Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees
Fahrenheit - Do not place near a flammable or magnetic
source - Smoking this article could be hazardous to your
health - The best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is
the use of a condom - No salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring
added - Warning: This computer program is protected by
copyright law and international treaties - If ingested,
do not induce vomiting, and if symptoms persist, consult
a physician - Articles are ribbed for your pleasure - Possible
penalties for early withdrawal - Offer valid only at participating
sites - Slightly higher west of the Rockies - Proven effective
in laboratory experiments - Other restrictions may apply
- This supersedes all previous notices - No electrons
were harmed in the production of this disclaimer. If you've
read this far, you are in desperate need of a laugh.